Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth,
but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it
may benefit those who listen.
Growing up, my mom had a magnet on
our refrigerator that quoted Ephesians 4:29, in fact, I think we might still
have it. I never fully understood what this verse meant though. Okay, don’t
cuss. Alright, don’t be rude to people. Fine, don’t sass my parents. Whatever, I
could easily deal with all of that. I didn’t need to memorize this verse or
think about it in depth. It’s obviously surface level, right? Ha, no. I have
noticed that I have no regards for anyone but myself when it comes to the
things I say. Some people may try to stick up for me and say, “oh no, stop, you
are a nice person. Everyone can be mean at times.” Stop right there. I do not
want anyone’s sympathy. I do not deserve anyone’s sympathy. I am rude and I need
to change. End of story. As I have grown
up, I have realized that people get offended by a lot of things I say. Usually,
I am one of the first to admit how rude I am. Quite honestly, I tend to say
this in a very prideful manner. What in the world am I thinking? What reason is
there to be happy about being rude? There isn’t one. Jesus commands us to love
one another and to be Christ to people. This means thinking about things before
you say them and not being rude for no good reason. That is who Jesus is.
Last
night, the grown kids went to a pizzeria for dinner. On our way there, a
homeless person walked up to the window and I commented about her making me uncomfortable.
I said this without thinking about it affecting anyone else in the car. I said
this from my own opinion. And I said this about us not having any extra money
to give her- not about her being homeless. I love working with any homeless
ministry. I love talking and praying with the people and truly listening to
their stories. It is one of my aspirations to open a homeless shelter someday
because I know it is needed. Unfortunately, not everyone in the car knew this
about me. On our way home, one of the guys made a comment about homeless people
making me uncomfortable and another person in the car got very offended by it.
He ended up kind of shutting down and just going to bed when we got home. Even
when I apologized, it didn’t seem to help. (If he ends up reading this, I genuinely
am sorry if I offended you and I am also sorry about telling everyone that reads
this blog about it…) You see, the ministry the Blume’s have here in Porto
Alegre works with men that have possibly been homeless in the past due to
alcohol or drug addictions. So when I made my seemingly harmless comment, I hurt
his feelings because of how much he cares about the men at the Chacara. He is
passionate enough about his friends and what he does that he isn’t going to
allow me or anyone else to make mean comments. That is how I want to be. I want
to be able to stand up to my friends when they are gossiping. I want to be
brave enough to be Jesus like this.
When we speak, we need to become fully
aware of our surroundings and the people in them. All night, I have been
bothered with my comment. I cannot get it out of my head how many other things I
have said throughout my life that I didn’t even notice someone get upset because
I was too full of myself to care. However, I am even more worried about the
things I have said to someone trying to fit in or trying to make people laugh. My
heart hurts knowing that I have cause so many people sadness and pain. And I am
truly sorry if I have hurt your feelings and you are reading this. Another
thing I have become very aware of since being in Brasil, whenever someone
starts to annoy me I immediately start being rude to them. I make very offensive
comments and become hateful towards a person until they don’t want to be around
me anymore. I have always had a way with knowing exactly what to say to upset
someone. And I have never held back from saying something it. I do not like
this part of me. I remember fighting with my mom growing up and knowing exactly
what to say to hurt her, but waiting for the exact moment to say it. I remember
knowing exactly what my closest friends were insecure about and using it
against them in fights. I knew exactly which button to press and when to press
it. I am ready to change this about myself. And I know the only way I am going
to do it is with a lot of help from God with my self-control and a lot of
patience from the people I am closest to.
I do not want to be the girl that is mean. I want to be kind
and loving towards everyone. That’s who Jesus is. I want to be passionate
enough about people to stand up for them regardless of who they are or where
they came from. That’s who Jesus is. I want to be Jesus in everything I say. I want
to stop being rude to people just because they are annoying me. Jesus is such a
cool guy. It seriously just blows my mind. I want to live my life striving to
be like Jesus and Jesus isn’t rude. Proverbs 12:18 says, “Reckless words pierce
like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” I want a tongue of
the wise. I no longer want to have reckless words that pierce like a sword and
forever leave a scar. I have left too many scars. I am ready to be like Jesus
in my words more now than ever.
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