Jesus Isn't Rude

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Growing up, my mom had a magnet on our refrigerator that quoted Ephesians 4:29, in fact, I think we might still have it. I never fully understood what this verse meant though. Okay, don’t cuss. Alright, don’t be rude to people. Fine, don’t sass my parents. Whatever, I could easily deal with all of that. I didn’t need to memorize this verse or think about it in depth. It’s obviously surface level, right? Ha, no. I have noticed that I have no regards for anyone but myself when it comes to the things I say. Some people may try to stick up for me and say, “oh no, stop, you are a nice person. Everyone can be mean at times.” Stop right there. I do not want anyone’s sympathy. I do not deserve anyone’s sympathy. I am rude and I need to change. End of story.  As I have grown up, I have realized that people get offended by a lot of things I say. Usually, I am one of the first to admit how rude I am. Quite honestly, I tend to say this in a very prideful manner. What in the world am I thinking? What reason is there to be happy about being rude? There isn’t one. Jesus commands us to love one another and to be Christ to people. This means thinking about things before you say them and not being rude for no good reason. That is who Jesus is.

                Last night, the grown kids went to a pizzeria for dinner. On our way there, a homeless person walked up to the window and I commented about her making me uncomfortable. I said this without thinking about it affecting anyone else in the car. I said this from my own opinion. And I said this about us not having any extra money to give her- not about her being homeless. I love working with any homeless ministry. I love talking and praying with the people and truly listening to their stories. It is one of my aspirations to open a homeless shelter someday because I know it is needed. Unfortunately, not everyone in the car knew this about me. On our way home, one of the guys made a comment about homeless people making me uncomfortable and another person in the car got very offended by it. He ended up kind of shutting down and just going to bed when we got home. Even when I apologized, it didn’t seem to help. (If he ends up reading this, I genuinely am sorry if I offended you and I am also sorry about telling everyone that reads this blog about it…) You see, the ministry the Blume’s have here in Porto Alegre works with men that have possibly been homeless in the past due to alcohol or drug addictions. So when I made my seemingly harmless comment, I hurt his feelings because of how much he cares about the men at the Chacara. He is passionate enough about his friends and what he does that he isn’t going to allow me or anyone else to make mean comments. That is how I want to be. I want to be able to stand up to my friends when they are gossiping. I want to be brave enough to be Jesus like this.

When we speak, we need to become fully aware of our surroundings and the people in them. All night, I have been bothered with my comment. I cannot get it out of my head how many other things I have said throughout my life that I didn’t even notice someone get upset because I was too full of myself to care. However, I am even more worried about the things I have said to someone trying to fit in or trying to make people laugh. My heart hurts knowing that I have cause so many people sadness and pain. And I am truly sorry if I have hurt your feelings and you are reading this. Another thing I have become very aware of since being in Brasil, whenever someone starts to annoy me I immediately start being rude to them. I make very offensive comments and become hateful towards a person until they don’t want to be around me anymore. I have always had a way with knowing exactly what to say to upset someone. And I have never held back from saying something it. I do not like this part of me. I remember fighting with my mom growing up and knowing exactly what to say to hurt her, but waiting for the exact moment to say it. I remember knowing exactly what my closest friends were insecure about and using it against them in fights. I knew exactly which button to press and when to press it. I am ready to change this about myself. And I know the only way I am going to do it is with a lot of help from God with my self-control and a lot of patience from the people I am closest to.

I do not want to be the girl that is mean. I want to be kind and loving towards everyone. That’s who Jesus is. I want to be passionate enough about people to stand up for them regardless of who they are or where they came from. That’s who Jesus is. I want to be Jesus in everything I say. I want to stop being rude to people just because they are annoying me. Jesus is such a cool guy. It seriously just blows my mind. I want to live my life striving to be like Jesus and Jesus isn’t rude. Proverbs 12:18 says, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” I want a tongue of the wise. I no longer want to have reckless words that pierce like a sword and forever leave a scar. I have left too many scars. I am ready to be like Jesus in my words more now than ever.